Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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