You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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