I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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