He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
