Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
