question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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