Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
porn star boner night. come get it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
