I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
and you fell through a lawn chair
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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