He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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