Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
