HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Oh god it's open bar.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize