I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize