Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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