u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize