Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
