Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
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I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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