Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All I want is dick and wine.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize