I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
