It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
