I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
