In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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