yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
