yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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