Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
