you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
