She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
