TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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