I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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