Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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