I love black thongs
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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