he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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