I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
