i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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