Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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