I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
