I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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