im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?