Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
