508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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