He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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