i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
