well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
