I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
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And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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