I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
