whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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