My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
