Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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