i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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