U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ladies don't puke and tell
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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