I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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