That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
