just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
