im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
