Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?

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  (248): Great. Don't do shady things like that ok? http://tfl.nu/xavr
  Replies (4) Good night (948) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you

  (1-636): View more from Missouri

  when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced

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  (636): dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you (1-636): when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced http://tfl.nu/5nrz
  Replies (5) Good night (1733) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me

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  (940): there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me http://tfl.nu/wugh
  Replies (65) Good night (798) Bad night (20294)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.

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  (717): Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie. http://tfl.nu/dgs6
  Replies (28) Good night (5037) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.

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  (817): he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes. http://tfl.nu/jo0i
  Replies (7) Good night (1046) Bad night (3224)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.

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  (804): My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her. http://tfl.nu/xqm6
  Replies (7) Good night (4908) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.

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  (410): We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES. http://tfl.nu/638m
  Replies (15) Good night (2783) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.

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  (724): He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober. http://tfl.nu/f1xw
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (1816)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?

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  (920): Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right? http://tfl.nu/1c8i
  Replies (1) Good night (1279) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.

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  (212): You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne. http://tfl.nu/l5in
  Replies (13) Good night (1899) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.

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  (850): If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through. http://tfl.nu/odn6
  Replies (7) Good night (1050) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?

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  (919): Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight? http://tfl.nu/lpr7
  Replies (5) Good night (1102) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.

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  (931): So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating. http://tfl.nu/zfrb
  Replies (9) Good night (1345) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth

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  (262): Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth http://tfl.nu/ck6h
  Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Lets trade lives

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears

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  (931): Lets trade lives (931): And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears http://tfl.nu/3fv6
  Replies (3) Good night (308) Bad night (415)

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