Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed

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  (608): and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed http://tfl.nu/yzqp
  Replies (9) Good night (1100) Bad night (3102)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me

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  (907): i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me http://tfl.nu/rubg
  Replies (50) Good night (907) Bad night (3588)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  GO. BACK. NOW.

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  (513): I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash (1-513): GO. BACK. NOW. http://tfl.nu/zc24
  Replies (42) Good night (6562) Bad night (682)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica

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  (860): Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica http://tfl.nu/womi
  Replies (10) Good night (4642) Bad night (1405)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.

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  (586): She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/fg6t
  Replies (13) Good night (6674) Bad night (1565)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.

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  (817): Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent. http://tfl.nu/lzjs
  Replies (6) Good night (2816) Bad night (984)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell

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  (870): He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell http://tfl.nu/ywhk
  Replies (8) Good night (656) Bad night (2631)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.

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  (404): I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/16j0
  Replies (14) Good night (3358) Bad night (657)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Your friend and I already don't get along

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  (404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend. (734): Your friend and I already don't get along http://tfl.nu/d3pe
  Replies (4) Good night (3448) Bad night (703)
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  (925): View more from California

  she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out

  (1-925): View more from California

  this was your mom?

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  (925): she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out (1-925): this was your mom? http://tfl.nu/x3f7
  Replies (4) Good night (1321) Bad night (642)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew

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  (403): If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew http://tfl.nu/ebug
  Replies (3) Good night (1125) Bad night (356)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.

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  (630): He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/kvrj
  Replies (13) Good night (1384) Bad night (589)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.

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  (682): I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life. http://tfl.nu/x9h1
  Replies (10) Good night (912) Bad night (376)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there

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  (416): I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there http://tfl.nu/n5pg
  Replies (9) Good night (721) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.

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  (925): I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants. http://tfl.nu/rh3a
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (230)

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