We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.