They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left