right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.