Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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