Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You dont lie about slip and slides
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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