You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize