What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
