I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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