Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
