So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
