Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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